As quickly as it started  it is over... and even though I'm over him, I'm not over it (meaning my issues with relationships).  He couldn't handle the distance (He moved about a month after we started dating for a promotion).  I feel very disillusioned with love.  For my close spacers who have been through all these men with me you know why.  I seem to keep finding myself in situation where I give more than the other person. I'm more devoted to the relationship than the other person.  Then poof!  I find out that all the while he was just "eh" about me. 

I know that this is part of the whole mating dance, but I'm just not sure I feel like dancing anymore.  Not sure I will find the right dance partner and I'm tired of leading and or carrying the other person.  I feel more jaded and cynical than I already am.  So I'm no longer looking for "the one". Even though that sounds good, I'm wondering if someone I will become to harsh to even see "the one" if he even exists.  He was great and different than the rest.  He was open and honest (I thought) and understanding, and seemed to get me... and wanted to be around me all the time.  But for some reason, it ended like the others so I'm a bit confused.

My friends say this attitude is just cause this end is still new to me and later I will feel differently... who knows...

I finally proposed!!!!!!!!!  No not to him LOL.  I proposed my thesis! I'm finally on my way to finishing this damn program.  It was nerve racking and I have to make a bunch of changes but they approved it and I'm so happy to be less of a waste of graduate school space!

I love comfort... I mean who doesn't?  I don't mean the kind like a fuzzy sweater or warm comforter... I love the comfort of banter and when someone gets you enough to make fun of the dumb shit you do.  I like the comfort of where you have to laugh more than get mad... or where you can make non-P.C. jokes about the reality of our world without being scared the other will bite your head off...

Apparently I'm Canadian by injection... I'm also a "cracker" by injection... and the only perk I get from that is I get to go to Boston Market... cause I heard from a lil birdie that its for white people... go figure...